When you're 280 pounds Yellin' shit out the window Don't trash your brothers When Neoshia's around Or you'll find out the same thing I found No head from Nikki 'Cindy Does St. Petersburg' ain't all it takes To hit this Tampa booty Don't count your muffins Before you get baked Lie to Nikki, that's a big ass mistake No head from Nikki Hey, are you comin' down There's nothin' between here and your town Hey, put your money away We can stay inside and play When things start heatin' up, who you gonna call Who's your daddy, and where's your cell phone You can take her pictures down Cause you're talkin' to the wall You're on MSN, but you ain't on the ball No head from Nikki
	The day I met you I was rather impressed with your commitment To keeping pervs in their place Some wanker asked you To stand up, so he could finish You escorted him out on his face Saying "You must be mistaken, I'm not another internet whore" Upon reflection My only mistake was over-thinking Thinking about how you were What with me clearly The biggest pig in the universe I knew you'd have my nuts on a skewer But you said "Hello loudly" And you were totally cool to me KAPPSGURL, I like you I saw you licking your nipples one time You must have been intoxicated A few times over It suddenly occurred to me That I'd love to see you, properly Put me in my place Consequently I became a witness to your abuse At the hands of your so called friends You just sat there Smiling, impenetrable Tearing eyes up, staring straight ahead And then something I said Had you rolling on the bed KAPPSGURL, I like you I thought you kissed a Canadian guy Turns out the kid was from Missouri A few towns over Maybe, someday You'll say it's not too late to finally Put me in my place
	Watching you flip the minnow Is my favorite thing to do on the 4th of July When I'm down, I just wanna hit it I don't care what was goin' on All night long, before I walked in the door All I know, is if you're with it, hell yeah I'm with it If I get bounced Do me a favor, and stick around Don't look now, but your panties Are hangin' behind you, on the snake's tank over there Don't go pick 'em up, I'm just sayin' Now where were we.. yeah, tell me How many exclamation points you're lookin' for And tell your boyfriend, we're just playin' We're just playin' in this cemetery It's 4 o'clock already And there's no one left around So c'mon Krista, bury me I've been here since January And you're the darkest thing I've found Watching you fall in love Over and over, God, look at the head on that fucking guy I don't get it I don't care, it won't bother me When tomorrow you don't talk to me at all I won't let it I won't Before I drop Do me a favor, and turn around
	How many bitches named Trudy Do you have working here I'm wide awake now And I am well aware My appointment Is way up in the air The sooner I go off The sooner I'll be there If you think Fernando Is touching me again I'm not about to Go down till who knows when I had a headfull Of promise for that man Now they're all broken And crumbled in my hand My Dad can't change insurance Just like that But I'm impatient I'm frustrated Wanting one more dickhead To dick me around some more I'll be here waiting Curled up on the floor I'm not afraid now To go the extra mile Make time to hurt me I'll make it worth your while
	All the ladies in the house If you like 'em big and stupid Take a look at my homeboy here And say alright Solid as a brick wall Smart as another brick wall Take a number He could take all night Neanderthal, Neanderthal I ain't runnin' away I'm gonna break you off somethin' proper today Neanderthal, Neanderthal I hope you're not kiddin around I thought I heard you say somethin' About me being good for a pound Damn Could you pick me up? Could you walk across the room? Could you put me on a shelf and forget about me? Just thought I'd ask, you big baboon Neanderthal, Neanderthal I ain't runnin' away I'm gonna break you off somethin' proper today Neanderthal, Neanderthal No more kiddin around I overheard you say somethin' About me being good for a pound Surprise me, surprise me Hit me over the head with something Most of all, Neanderthal Don't let me alone Finally, you're looking at me Head tilted like Mr. Lucky I don't think Mr. Rogers is home Neanderthal, Neanderthal I ain't runnin' away I'm gonna break you off somethin' proper today Neanderthal, Neanderthal I hope you're not kiddin around I honestly thought you said somethin' About me being good for a pound All the ladies in the house Keep your hands where I can see 'em Me and homeboy gonna step outside
	I didn't know what lascivious meant Or hash button either Walking around with your head in cement Is a fine way to think a whole lot deeper I came off on the serious side When she wanted to roll me I got off, and got offered a ride When the spinning upside down girl told me Pashing on in the middle of the night She'd kindly remind me A boomerang's aboriginal, right And that I made her fingers come out all shiney 98 squillion miles away All bloodshot and achey I could handle the adding a day But I still can't figure the 8 hours taken away Head lice, you oughta know by now Happens over and over and over again, somehow Taillights Fade in the background When your Aunt Celexy picks you up And Sgt Murray Syndol takes you down Overnight panoram satellite Look closer you might see That little light on the lower right Is a wide open heart, a whole lotta pisces Squidgy bread, M & M's, vegemite Some chooks and a pony I'm reminded it's karate night When the spinning upside down girl told me Start swimming
	In the fast lane, with a rainbow in the sky And the Sagamore below me Lonely, but it's not an emergency Take it from me It's real lo and real behold, to find some company Slowin' down Glancin' around to see Entering Dennis Where the world stops spinning and I'm okay When you're in Dennis, the skidmarks fade away There's a twinkle in a smile to tell you, enjoy your stay Entering Dennis will make you feel this way Cape Cod station on, singin' and drivin' And the sign says Exit Only Don't even try to pull that on me You better believe It comes down to finding out where you'd rather be Keep in mind, you're in line behind me Entering Dennis Where the world stops spinning and I'm okay When you're in Dennis, the skidmarks fade away Eyes open wide to tell you, enjoy your stay Entering Dennis will make you feel this way One pop, and you wanna not stop Two pops, you're in love, Three, says he, is fine with me, Four, you've had enough Entering Dennis Where the world stops spinning and I'm okay When you're in Dennis, the skidmarks fade away Happily wrapped around you, enjoy your stay Entering Dennis will make you feel this way
	Thank you for bearing with me Now take a hike Push you out the door Or push you out the window What would you like Free falling Pleading all the while Seeing your life before you A thousand hours a mile Wondering where you are Opening your eyes, and finding out Pulling on the rip chord Watching all the fruit 'n stuff Flying out Man, this ain't gonna last You better pray someday you wake up And realize You're too dumb an ass Here comes your happy ending Now run and hide You can have a clue Or have it up the flue Honey, you decide Man, this ain't gonna fly You better pray someday you wake up And realize You're too chump a guy You better pray someday you wake up And realize We hit the ground in Austin Kinda hard Gathering up my notes Gathering up my hopes What a retard
	Cans of PBR in your car Getting hammered at a rest stop Boom, speaker blown, your mobile phone Simply screaming with the top down Got a brand new habit Ellie May Hidden cameras mean just that They'll arrest you Hell, unless you run away Mad appetites, human bites Don't inhale it, keep your pants on Bash, breaking cats with wiffle bats Cotillion's over, get the cops down To cuff and take Miss Capulet away To fake a nap while the cleanup staff Try to rest You had my schedule thrown away But I found it Thank you, mullet woman Yeah, I found it Thank you, mullet woman Yo Nuevo Mexico Here's our pamphlet, here's our mascot Hey hemorrhoid, get employed Get promoted to a heart throb Is Sister Mary Katharine getting paid Enough to cover the mess you made I doubt it Thank you, mullet woman Thank you, mullet woman When that dual level's going Everyone in Rumordoso Already knows your name Some habits hard to tame
	Ken's head seems a little bit bigger A little bit bigger Than it did a minute ago Ken's legs are of little use Kicking like rabbit ears Picking up The Naughty Nicole Show Perfume, external use only Diluted oil Alcohol 85 percent Perfume, the warning's on the label The label's on the bottle And the bottle's what they meant Ice starts melting Only resting in her hand Squeezed a little tighter Makes her knees too weak to stand Yay :) Ken's head seems a little bit bigger A little bit bigger Than it did a minute ago Ken's hands are of little use Gripping on nothing in particular at all Eyes start melting In the produce aisle again Squeezed a little tighter A little tighter than her friends Ken's smile seems a little bit brighter A little bit brighter Than it did a minute ago Ken's eyes are a little bit wider And the innocent beside her wanna know Where did Ken go
	I know the way you are You'll take this way too far A compliment or 2 or 80 Never hurt anyone That's bullshit Come back, your fans are here Douche nozzles everywhere Where IQ points are overrated And so isn't everyone When their hands are loaded They all seem devoted Coming streaming dropping off goodbye When I said forever I didn't mean together Like I need to tell you why Click on that masturbating Check out the mess you're making An open-eyed closed-captionated Mega-jerkathalon When their balls are loaded They all seem devoted Coming streaming dropping off goodbye When I said together I didn't mean forever Are you for real Are you fucking high That's quite a gash you've got there Nice pile of trash you fought there Drop a pound or 2 or 80 Get back to me A compliment or 2 or 80 Never hurt anyone
	When indy clowns can knock you down It's probably nothing But when the No Lollerskating writing In tubular lighting knocks you out Way to snowball, way to discover It's hard to get up a facade And get phenomenal grades Dedication, no doubt Eamon knows he won't stick it out Way to formulate escape commands To places nobody understands When my Michelle blows up your cell It's usually nothing But when the dick ornaments are lining up Begging and whining for the Big Eam Way to snowball, way to discover They'll only get off the phone And get down on their face Adoration, no doubt Eamon knows these hoes give it out Way to formulate escape commands To places nobody understands To dream of Liz Phair in a bikini And wearing a beanie, talking insane Hallucination, no doubt Eamon knows he goes in and out Way to formulate escape commands To places nobody understands
	Get up, get up, it's time it go Get on a plane in your pajamas Show up, show up, and talk yourself Into the line Shook up, shook up, and all around Your head, pounding indecision So take a pound of sedatives And try to settle down Prepare for anything, when you arrive Meeting rebel girl It's not for everyone With possibilities Unapparent to the naked eye Leen, you're so sweet You're the sugar in my gastank Bumped into, fallen for Made out with, and banned From the UK, or Canada Or Japan, or United Arab Emirates Come on hellpixie, who's your man Spit it out Just remember, kids Here at hellpixie We're in the business of saving lives Being rebel girl It's not for everyone Coded messages These hieroglyphics are between myself and I Leen, you're so sweet You're the sugar in my gastank Bumped into, fallen for Made out with, and banned From the White House, a sushi bar Or the Moon, or the dark side of Connecticut Come on hellpixie, let's go home Where is that Chin up, chin up, it's time To get back on the plane to Arizona An awful long way to cry Pick up, pick up, your pretty heart Vicky, leaving rebel girl It's not for everyone, roger that, goodbye You're so sweet You're the sugar in my gastank Bumped into, fallen for Made out with, and banned From high school, a package store Or a club, or some random ass community Come on hellpixie, who do you love Cough it up